I know you're thinking what the hell is the deal with the frog. Well it's something funny and random I found, it made me laugh and somewhere inside my inner child was touched. So I've been dealing with some bad anxiety today, really bad. Actually have been for the two weeks, I just never tell anyone. Some of you may know or not know that I deal with anxiety disorder. It's a lovely emotional disorder which at times involves minor agoraphobia at least for me, and panic attacks. Panic attacks are basically a giant bully in your own head which constantly pounds the ever loving shit out of you with fear.
I like to call it my own personal pain in the ass in life. I've been dealing with devil on my shoulder for a little over 2 years, which I thought by now would have flown away and bugged someone else. Alas, the little bastard tends to have a love affair with me. It's a process that at days just wears me out, and others is bearable. Then there are the good days, the one where I kicks it's ass and make it cry mommy -- as it loves so much to do to me. Like a roller coaster there are my highs and lows, thankfully I have some friends who know the pain that I go through.
I guess what helps is that I've always been a very social person, hell I love to be around people. I will also talk to anyone, literally -- I'm not picky; I'll talk to a damn tree if it's the only thing around. Some people aren't so lucky and have social anxiety which at times I think would actually be worse.
Odds are some of you don't remember Voltron, but it was one of the first anime's to ever make it stateside in the 80's. Voltron was comprised of 5 kick ass robot lions, and I got an original one from the 80's TODAY! It was pure luck and chance. On one of my many walks I saw that someone was moving and threw out tons of crap, in that crap was a gem. That gems name is Voltron.
I love Silicon Knights, they are in my top 5 favorite game developers of all time. My love for them started with Legacy of Kain, which was just so over the top and well told it shocked me. It brought a level to of story to an action rpg that I had never seen before, hell still have to this day. Each every weapon in that game has 2-3 pages of story details just for a damn weapon. Then they just took it to another level with Eternal Darkness, which will go down as one of the best horror games ever made. So knowing all that I'm excited for Too Human. Norse mythology with Diablo like gameplay and beautiful graphics, it's as if someone said -- Here Michael, this is for you with love.
Some people love their Metal Gear Solids, me I'm all about the Diablo gameplay and Final Fantasy games.
I've loved Modjo for years, at least 5 which is quite sometime. Sadly they never come out with new stuff, but their debut album was fantastic; if you like this kind of music that is. For some reason this video has always reminded me of some of the crazy times in High School, it's just so full of this air of innocence and fun. Not knowing what's next and just seeing what the hell happens. It's also romantic in a way - hard to explain but I think it is.
Well Capcom finally revealed what the hell Lost Planet Colonies is, and it's the ultimate version of Lost Planet. Even out Losting the new PS3 version. Sad thing, or good thing -- depending on what system you own is it's a PC and 360 exclusive. Since I own a 360 that's a great thing, and even more so since it's gonna only be 30 bucks! I loved Lost Planet but never got to beat it due to my 360 kicking the bucket. Once I got a new one, I just wasn't feeling going through those insane boss battles again. But seeing as I know have an HDTV, I'd love to see the game again in all it's full 1080i glory.
Science now has an explanation for something, for something I've experienced from time to time. Known by many many names throughout history; including the "old hag" in Newfoundland (for an old witch thought to sit on the chest of the paralyzed sleeper), "kokma" in the West Indies (for a ghost baby who jumps on the sleeper's chest and attacks the throat), "kanashibari" in Japan and "gui ya" or ghost pressure in China (because a ghost is believed to sit on and assault the sleeper), as you can see it's been going on for ages and had many names based on different cultures.
Myself I've always thought it's demons and many other people do. I'm on the thinking that it's just sciences way of explaining something they still quite don't understand. I've always heard laughter and sometimes even speaking during my episodes and yes it's scary as hell. I decided to do a little research on the subject and wanted to share it here, who knows perhaps someone else will get something useful out of it.
Scientists believe that the syndrome is caused by a dysfunction in R.E.M. sleep. It's when your mind wakes up, usually still in a semi-REM state, but your body is still relaxed. Not much else is really known, but as I said stories of the what I feel is supernatural phenomena has been going on for ages. In a recent survey it is suggested that between 25-30% of the general population has suffered some form of Sleep Paralysis, with 95% of these experiencing a horrifying event. Yes, it does run in the family, if you have suffered an episode, chances are there's a member within your close family who has also experienced this; thing is don't want to talk about if fear of others thinking they've lost their mind.
The name of the phenomenon comes from the superstitious belief that a witch - or an old hag - sits or "rides" the chest of the victims, rendering them immobile. Although that explanation isn't taken very seriously nowadays, the perplexing and often very frightening nature of the phenomenon leads many people to believe that there are supernatural forces at work - ghosts or demons.
The experience is so damn frightening because the victims, although paralyzed, seem to have full use of their senses. In fact, it is often accompanied by strange smells, the sound of approaching footsteps, apparitions or weird shadows with glowing eyes. All of the body's senses are telling you that something real and very scary is happening to you. Some research shows that people who suffer from anxiety or anxiety disorders have a pre-disposition to these night terrors, personally I've had a couple of these through out my life. While I'd like to say I wasn't that much of a nervous kid, the truth is I was a jumpy bugger. So perhaps who knows why this happens.
One thing I do know is that I've always started praying when it happens, and at times I've heard voices and laughter. Which has led me to believe that there is more to this 'syndrome' or even then just something science can quickly dismiss. The stories of countless people that have suffered the event, almost all have the story of an evil presence in the room, growling, laughter and also voices. Countless people have also said that once praying or calling out to Jesus, that it goes away. I feel there has to be something there to it, I'm not quite sure but I still feel that science alone explains the tormenting visions and fear that many have faced at night.
Found this incredibly cool band, very 70's almost and I love it. Reminds me a bit of Yes, I mean it just makes ya feel nostalgic. Makes me miss the early 80's.
I also checked out that Sony BRAVIA I've been meaning to and yeah - DO NOT WANT. The contrast ratio sucked massive ass. So instead I picked up AVIA essentials and calibrated my HD set and wow, I've fallen in love with it all over again. Honestly I just love Samsung sets.
I have a perfectly wonderful Samsung CRT HDTV. It's a decent size, has tons of a features and has what is considered by some one of the best damn looking HD pictures...at least contrast wise. Sadly, I'm getting that new TV fever again and this time it's for a Sony BRAVIA. Perhaps the small bit of "Sony whore" in me is whats making me need a new TV. Some would say I have a lot of Sony whore in me, I beg to differ dammit, (grumble) as I've had a sordid love/hate relationship with Sony. I love my PSP, Diskman, and Home Theater system. I even loved the hell out of my PS2, but my fondness for the PS3 and it's antics are slim. Still those bastards are growing on me again with Blu-ray and Metal Gear Solid 4.
So yes I'm giving in and be getting a PS3 soon, I've known despite my bitching that it's always been a matter of WHEN I would purchase one, not if. I'm a consumer whore, that I'll admit 100%...and a little bit of a Sony whore/OCD freak who loves the idea of his electronics matching.
So will I get the BRAVIA? Not sure yet, but come on -- the hell am I kidding. I'll get the damn BRAVIA, as all things it's just a matter of time haha.
Just a friendly reminder that Dark Sector comes out this month. We also have a developer interview over at Deeko. If you have any interest in the game then please check it out. Also if you're here from 1up, welcome! I hope you like my little blog here. Just a warning things are random and I'm also trying to spruce up the layout.
On the good news side, the NEW site design for Deeko at least in demo form should be up on Monday in "closed beta". As in not out for the world to see but for us to mull over and then tweak and see what works and doesn't. It's just nice to see that we're slowly moving towards that goal we've been working for.
No not this one, this is staying the way it is...I think at least. Talking about the site I co-own and work at. We think we found our CMS back end, which is a good thing. But then comes if all the plug-ins and community tools will work with it. I hope it does -- hope hope hope.
Have yet to sit down and start the DMC4 review, I think I will tonite while I watch CRANK. Just picked it up today, or maybe it will be another Harry Potter HD-DVD affair. Yes, I was one of the folks who bought an HD DVD player, at least the good thing is I didn't spend a lot of movies, and HD is HD. Soon I'll have my PS3 along with the Blu-ray player inside. Hell, I already bought a Blu-ray movie; Hellboy. Got it for $19.99, which was actually cheap considering the regular DVD is 17.99. I think I've rambled enough but it's nice to have a place to just spew again. I'll probably be bringing over some of my stuff from my once Live Journal account, I just have to pick and choose what I want to bring over.
